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Friday, September 14, 2007

At the time of marriage

I wished that my marriage would be the most happiest moment of my life which can be memorable forever, but alas that has become the worst incidence of my life. My engagement has been done in a very hurry, all arrangements in one day only. They have not even given me any nice engagement ring so that i feel good that i am engaged not even nice dress. Then also i was happy that after a long time i.e. at the age of 30 yrs i am getting married. After that they went to their place. He was not living in my native place so we could not meet but we used to talk on phone almost everyday and based on our talks, i have analyzed him and thought that we could be a good partner and he will undertand me, respect me and we can have a happy married life. But exactly 2 months before my marriage, suddenly all the talks have stopped, i was wondering what happened to him, is he all right, his phone was unreachable and switched off. My parents have tried to contact his family but they talked in a very indecent manner and saying that he has got some urgent work so he has to go and his mobile has some damage so could not take it with him. We also told his family that if he will not contact us at the earliest, the marriage will be cancelled. We all were very much disturbed and worried about marriage but after 10 days he called us and told that his friends father was not well so he has to go out of station. We said that you have to come here and talk to us then only we will think about marriage, so he came to meet us, and told the same thing and my parents believed him. Everything settled and we were happy, date of marriage was fixed and all the arrangements have been made. 15 days before our marriage tilak (roka) ceremony has been organized and our family gone to his place with cash (little less than they demanded) and things like clothes, utensils, gold chain etc as demanded by them. The same day after the ceremony he messaged me that "all my dreams have been broken, i have never thought that you will not give me anything i had thought". After reading his message, i felt very much upset that are these people only interested in money, donot they consider the problem of ours, we have not said that we will not give you money, we just told them that we will arrange the rest at the time of marriage. Even my family was not treated well by his guardians. They came back very upset, not happy as they should be at this time. After knowing this i wanted to broke this marriage but my brother said that that guy was telling that "i donot have much money to do all the arrangements thats why i am asking for money, else i could not have demanded anything from you". After hearing this, i felt that ok fine, i will marry him and not break it. After this our father has given him the balance dowry as per his demand. All the shopping, card distribution and other arrangements have been made, but we could not find a nice banquet hall for the marriage ceremony because of a short period i.e only 2 months as we should make booking before 6 months in our place then only we can have a good place for the function. So we have made arrangement in the park and stay arrangement in nearby temple. 2 days before marriage he called my father has asked for more money, but we could not arrange it and whenever we call him, he donot pick up the phone and cut it, we talked to his brother, he also told us that we need more money else we will not bring barat. That was the very toughest time of my life, we didnot knew whether they are coming for marriage or not, when they left before a day and in the evening he called me from train, then we came to know that yes the marriage is going to happen. In the morning they came here, we picked them from railway station to the temple where they have to stay. We have taken care of all their needs like food and other requirements then also they were complaining again and again, this is not there that is not there etc and his friends were talking to my family elders very badly and furiously. The marriage day was very much stressfull for me and my family, they could not take any relief breath that day. At last all the rituals and ceremonies have been completed and the next night i departed with my husband and all the baraties. Whenever i used to think about these incidents, i feel very much upset and distressed.


Anonymous said...

I am an Hindu myself and know the woes of dowry. But this has got to stop in India, this is crazy. I am sorry you had to go thru all this. Also a piece of suggestion, try breaking your post into paragraphs for easy reading

Sarika said...

dowry is an ill of society and it has to be removed but indian society can never come over it, i think. thanks for suggestion, but what type of photographs you are talking about.