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Saturday, September 29, 2007

Interesting and funny "WHAT IS MARRIAGE"

I have received this message, so thought that i should share. I hope you like it.

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm soon has arms in woman's sink.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.


25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

Sunday, September 23, 2007


Pic: A woodcut of a medieval wedding ceremony from Germany

Marriage of some kind exists in nearly every society. Except in societies where post-marital residence is traditionally matrilocal, patrilocal, or avunculocal, married people typically form a household, which is most often a subsequently extended biologically, through children. Among Western cultures, the nuclear family emerged during the late medieval period. ost non-Western societies have a broader definition of family that includes an extended family network. Marriage is the sole mechanism for the creation of affinal ties (in-laws).

Although the institution of marriage pre-dates reliable recorded history, many cultures have legends or religious beliefs concerning the origins of marriage.

In Britain
Marriage remains relevant as the union that socially sanctions a sexual relationship. In the law of England and Wales, children whose parents were not married to each other at the time of the birth were known as bastards. They were considered illegitimate, meaning they usually could not inherit wealth or title. This has also applied to children who were born inside a marriage which was then annulled; the two daughters of Henry VIII, Mary I and Elizabeth I, were declared illegitimate after their father annulled the marriages that they had been born into.
In Catholicism, the Council of Trent made the validity of marriage dependent upon its being performed before a priest and two witnesses. The Council also authorized a Catechism, issued in 1566, which defined marriage as, "The conjugal union of man and woman, contracted between two qualified persons, which obliges them to live together throughout life."

Marriage has changed throughout the history of Europe, in the 1200's in England it was unlawful for a woman younger than 24 years to marry but this changed in the beginning of the 1500's to 20 years of age.

In the Middle Ages the Church only allowed divorce for consanguinity and adultery but during the reformation, Luther and others made marriage a civil institution instead of a sacramental one. This made way for the right of women to divorce their husbands for his faults such as impotence.

In the United Kingdom, the Deceased Wife's Sister's Marriage Act 1907 was a statute passed by Parliament that removed the prohibition forbidding a man to marry the sister of his deceased wife.

European monogamy
European culture and the cultures of the Americas, so far as they descend from it, have for the most part defined themselves as monogamous cultures. This partially stemmed from Christianity, Germanic cultural traditions [verification needed] and the mandate of Roman Law. However, Roman Law permitted prostitution, concubinage, and sexual access to slaves. The Christian West formally banned these practices with laws against adultery, fornication, and other relationships outside a monogamous, lifelong covenant.

Arranged marriage

Pic: An arranged marriage between Louis XIV of France and Maria Theresa of Spain

A pragmatic (or 'arranged') marriage is facilitated by formal procedures of family or group politics. A responsible authority sets up or encourages the marriage; they may, indeed, engage a professional matchmaker to find a suitable spouse for an unmarried person. The authority figure could be parents, family, a religious official, or a group consensus.

In some cases, the authority figure may choose a match for purposes other than marital harmony. Some of the most popular uses of arranged marriage are for dowry or immigration.
Though now a rarity in Western countries, arranged marriages in countries such as India are widely prevalent even today. In illiterate villages, marriage of a child often has much to do with family property; parents adopt the practice of child marriage and arrange the wedding sometimes even before the child is born (though this practice was made illegal by Child Marriage Restraint Act of the Indian Government). In urban India, people use thriving institutions known as Marriage Bureaus or a Matrimonials Sites, where candidates register themselves for a small fee.

A related form of pragmatic marriage, sometimes called a marriage of convenience, involves immigration laws. According to one publisher of information about "green card" marriages, "Every year over 450,000 thousand United States citizens marry foreign-born individuals and petition for them to obtain a permanent residency (Green Card) in the United States."While this is likely an over-estimate, in 2003 alone 184,741 immigrants were admitted to the U.S. as spouses of U.S. citizens.

Finding a partner

In order to get married, it is necessary to find a suitable partner. A partner may be found by the person wishing to be married via a process of courtship. Alternately, two marriageable people may be matched by a third party, typically with the match finalized only if both candidates approve the union. This is known as an arranged marriage.

The choice between courtship and arranged marriage is made by the person seeking marriage or by his or her parents. In some cases, the parents will be ready to force an arranged marriage because of cultural tradition (e.g., in the Middle East) or for some other special reason (e.g., dowry). It is worth noting, however, that in many cases the person seeking marriage is comfortable with having his or her marriage arranged and, even disregarding parental preference, would freely choose an arranged marriage. Actual forced marriage is common in only a few communities and often attracts harsh criticism even from people who are generally in favor of arranged marriage.

Given a choice, the preference for the method of courtship or arranged marriage is determined by whether a person believes that marriage should be based on emotion or logic. At one end of the scale is a person who believes that there is only one unique "soul mate" suitable for them. A partner is typically chosen based on the depth of emotional connection experienced with their partner during the courtship phase of the relationship. At the other end of the scale is a person who believes that there are many suitable partners, and typically views marriage chiefly as a means to start a family. The deep emotional bond between partners characteristic of good marriages is more likely to be viewed as something which can be developed through nurture and cultivation with any suitable partner. Most people fall somewhere between these two extremes

What is Marriage

Marriage is an interpersonal relationship with governmental, social, or religious recognition, usually intimate and sexual, and often created as a contract, or through civil process. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage in some US jurisdictions.
The most frequently occurring form of marriage unites a man and a woman as husband and wife.

Other forms of marriage also exist; for example, polygamy, in which a person takes more than one spouse (marriage partner), is common in many societies.

Beginning in 2001, civil marriage has been expanded to include same-sex marriage in some US jurisdictions.

The reasons people marry vary, but usually include one or more of the following: legal, social and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love.

A marriage is often declared by a wedding ceremony, which, in the US, may be performed by a religious officiator, through a similar government-sanctioned secular officiator, or (in weddings that have no church or state affiliation) by a trusted friend of the wedding participants. The act of marriage usually creates obligations between the individuals involved, and in many societies, their extended families

Friday, September 14, 2007

Quotes about marriage

" [A] husband who can cook is not at all the same thing as a husband who can shop, prepare, and assemble ingredients, and clean up the mess after the great burst of creativity."
Mary-Jo Fitzgerald, Marriage and the male animal

" A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted."
Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men

"Some marriages give bachelors a master's degree."
Leonid S. Sukhorukov, All About Everything

Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?Homer: Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
The Simpsons and others

"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
Huey P. Long

"Marrying is all about just obtaining a piece of paper. Divorcing is just obtaining another."
Celeste Tan

Now non-Indian people think they know all about arranged marriages. 'So I hear that when you're born, the first thing your parents do is chose a nice girl for you to marry when you're old enough.' 'No, No! It doesn't work like that. Arranged marriages are more like going to a car show. Your dad lets you look at, and compare all the cars. 'Oh that one is nice. You would like that one, you like it? Ya, you are going to get that one.' - 'Don't I get to test drive it?' - 'No, not now, wait until you are married, then you can test drive it all you want.
Russell Peters

"A marriage so free, so spontaneous, that it would allow of wide excursions of the pair from each other, in common or even in separate objects of work and interest, and yet would hold them all the time in the bond of absolute sympathy, would by its very freedom be all the more poignantly attractive, and by its very scope and breadth all the richer and more vital -- would be in a sense indestructible."
Edward Carpenter, Love's Coming of Age

"Marriage is wonderful when it lasts forever, and I envy the old couples in When Harry Met Sally who reminisce tearfully about the day they met 50 years before. I no longer believe, however, that a marriage is a failure if it doesn't last forever. It may be a tragedy, but it is not necessarily a failure. And when a marriage does last forever with love alive, it is a miracle."
Peggy O'Mara, Mothering, Fall 1989

"Marriage: A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"There's nothing a woman hates more than her fiance's best friend. He knows all the secrets she's going to spend the rest of her life trying to find out."
Jeff Douglas line in the musical Brigadoon

"Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!"
Woody Allen's What's New, Pussycat?

"Marrying means doing whatever possible to become repulsed of each other."
Arthur Schopenhauer

At the time of marriage

I wished that my marriage would be the most happiest moment of my life which can be memorable forever, but alas that has become the worst incidence of my life. My engagement has been done in a very hurry, all arrangements in one day only. They have not even given me any nice engagement ring so that i feel good that i am engaged not even nice dress. Then also i was happy that after a long time i.e. at the age of 30 yrs i am getting married. After that they went to their place. He was not living in my native place so we could not meet but we used to talk on phone almost everyday and based on our talks, i have analyzed him and thought that we could be a good partner and he will undertand me, respect me and we can have a happy married life. But exactly 2 months before my marriage, suddenly all the talks have stopped, i was wondering what happened to him, is he all right, his phone was unreachable and switched off. My parents have tried to contact his family but they talked in a very indecent manner and saying that he has got some urgent work so he has to go and his mobile has some damage so could not take it with him. We also told his family that if he will not contact us at the earliest, the marriage will be cancelled. We all were very much disturbed and worried about marriage but after 10 days he called us and told that his friends father was not well so he has to go out of station. We said that you have to come here and talk to us then only we will think about marriage, so he came to meet us, and told the same thing and my parents believed him. Everything settled and we were happy, date of marriage was fixed and all the arrangements have been made. 15 days before our marriage tilak (roka) ceremony has been organized and our family gone to his place with cash (little less than they demanded) and things like clothes, utensils, gold chain etc as demanded by them. The same day after the ceremony he messaged me that "all my dreams have been broken, i have never thought that you will not give me anything i had thought". After reading his message, i felt very much upset that are these people only interested in money, donot they consider the problem of ours, we have not said that we will not give you money, we just told them that we will arrange the rest at the time of marriage. Even my family was not treated well by his guardians. They came back very upset, not happy as they should be at this time. After knowing this i wanted to broke this marriage but my brother said that that guy was telling that "i donot have much money to do all the arrangements thats why i am asking for money, else i could not have demanded anything from you". After hearing this, i felt that ok fine, i will marry him and not break it. After this our father has given him the balance dowry as per his demand. All the shopping, card distribution and other arrangements have been made, but we could not find a nice banquet hall for the marriage ceremony because of a short period i.e only 2 months as we should make booking before 6 months in our place then only we can have a good place for the function. So we have made arrangement in the park and stay arrangement in nearby temple. 2 days before marriage he called my father has asked for more money, but we could not arrange it and whenever we call him, he donot pick up the phone and cut it, we talked to his brother, he also told us that we need more money else we will not bring barat. That was the very toughest time of my life, we didnot knew whether they are coming for marriage or not, when they left before a day and in the evening he called me from train, then we came to know that yes the marriage is going to happen. In the morning they came here, we picked them from railway station to the temple where they have to stay. We have taken care of all their needs like food and other requirements then also they were complaining again and again, this is not there that is not there etc and his friends were talking to my family elders very badly and furiously. The marriage day was very much stressfull for me and my family, they could not take any relief breath that day. At last all the rituals and ceremonies have been completed and the next night i departed with my husband and all the baraties. Whenever i used to think about these incidents, i feel very much upset and distressed.

Friday, September 7, 2007

My Dreams of Marriage

I have always dreamt of being a happy and satisfied person with my life partner like any other girl would dream of and enjoy my life to the fullest so that at the end of my life i donot have to regret that i have missed some things in my life.

I wish for a caring person who can take care of me like a baby, love me from the core of his heart with all respect and dignity, never hurt my self respect. I have to suffer a lot in my childhood because of my shy and introvert nature, so i wished for a person who can understand me even if i donot say anything, he can understand by looking at me or else never misunderstand me because my family always used to misunderstand me and always think the other way which i never meant to be. He would be a intelligent person who can take decisions by his own of course with my consultation or advice, on whom i can rely on, feel confident that he will always take a right decision, the reason being that due to my upbringing and restrictions, i am not so much confident about my decisions or even say that i am very confused on what to do or not, so i need a guidance or lightening to decide anything. I needed a mature person so that i can he knows how to handle life difficulties and worse situations with ease and peacefully and can take care of his family too in need of distress. I wish to enjoy life to the fullest, travel to new places and know about at least India if not possible foreign countries, have a luxurious life or at least that much which is the necessity to maintain a standard of living. I am not extravagant but feel that i donot have to think a lot if i need anything in life for happy and prosperous living. He should be a joyfull and humorous person who can keep a happy environment at home so that we feel that we are living in a pleasant environment and never feel stressed. And the most important thing which is the base of a happy marriage i.e. a very very romantic and sensible person who knows how to make love to his wife in a very pleasing, decent and romantic way and think about her feelings too, not only his so that he can make her happy and fulfill all her desires because if he take care of his wife feelings then only his wife can fulfill his necessities. The saying is there that "Man make love to have sex and woman make sex to have love." I donot want him to be like this saying because I hate it. I donot think i am very much demanding in relationship, anybody else in this world could have the same dream. I hope so, what you people say.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I would like to share everyone about my experiences of marriage. This is my first attempt to write something online. The thoughts and experiences i wish to include are:

My dreams about marriage
At the time of marriage
Initial days of marriage
My happiness after marriage
My feeling at the time of being a mother
My sorrows and sufferings after marriage
What has brought me to think about separation
My efforts for mutual consent divorce
My life in between separation
My work to earn for my living
My life with my baby

I hope you enjoy reading and please also give your valuable comments for improving this blog.

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